


It's Five O'Clock Somewhere

by Neurotoxia



Category: Bleach
Genre: Annoying Colleagues, Gen, Humor, Just another day in the office, Workplace
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-24
Updated: 2014-10-24
Packaged: 2018-02-22 11:46:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 963
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2506652
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Neurotoxia/pseuds/Neurotoxia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The day they first met Shuuhei decided Kuna Mashiro had been put on this planet to make his life difficult.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It's Five O'Clock Somewhere

**Author's Note:**

  * For [eos_3](https://archiveofourown.org/users/eos_3/gifts).



Shuuhei thinks it’s an honour to get to work with Captain Muguruma – the man who saved him all those years ago in Rukongai. The news just broke that Captain Commander Yamamoto will reinstate the captains that Aizen tried to kill a hundred years ago and the whole Seireitei is in upheaval. Seeing hollowfied Shinigami as captains is something Shuuhei never would have thought possible before. Kurosaki Ichigo must have shaken the Commander’s perceptions about Shinigami and Hollow to the core.

Shuuhei can’t help feeling slightly embarrassed when he meets his new commander Captain Muguruma for the first time in person. He sees the man’s eyebrows raise in question at the sight of the tattoo on Shuuhei’s cheek, identical to the one on the captain’s chest. Thankfully, he doesn’t say anything about it, just nods in acknowledgement. If Shuuhei hoped that would be all there is to it, he hasn’t reckoned with the force that is Kuna Mashiro.

“Eeeeh, Kensei! Look, he’s got the same tattoo as you!” she exclaims, sprinting forwards from behind Captain Muguruma and poking his cheek. “I bet he has a crush on you! That’s so cute!”

Right at that moment, Shuuhei decides Kuna Mashiro was put on this planet to make his life difficult. 

Months after that first meeting, his opinion hasn’t changed. He doesn’t mind sharing lieutenant duties. After shouldering the whole division in the aftermath of Captain Tousen’s betrayal, Shuuhei is in no hurry to do it again. Although the sharing lies mainly in the title – division of labour doesn’t appear to be part of it. Shuuhei finds himself doing nearly the same amount of work as other lieutenants who don’t share their position. Kuna likes to lounge about in Captain Muguruma’s office, badgering him until Shuuhei hears him shout abuse from across the hall. Unfortunately, Shuuhei isn’t the type to shout at a fellow shinigami, no matter how grating he finds them. To think that he considered Vice-Captain Matsumoto an occasional menace before...

Today, Shuuhei is relieved to be able to catch a break from his own division. The captain’s mood is unusually sour and Kuna is doing nothing to dissipate it.

“Deliver these to the Thirteenth Division,” his captain says, thrusting a stack of papers into Shuuhei’s arms. “Captain Ukitake’s request. Bring them to him in person.”

“Yes, sir.”

“Bring me some onigiri, Hisagi-kun. I’m starving!” Kuna chirps from where she is lurking behind Captain Muguruma’s shoulder, smiling.

Shuuhei ignores her. She is in no position to issue orders to him and can go out and get a snack herself. Or send one of the lower seats, if she so desired. He is not about to play manservant.

“How can you be starving? You haven’t lifted a finger the whole day!” Captain Muguruma snaps at her.

“That’s so mean, Kensei!” Kuna whines and Shuuhei decides to flee the scene before he gets dragged into the argument. Heaven knows they manage that often enough as it is and it never ends well for Shuuhei. He bows in a haste to his captain and dashes off.

“Hisagi-kuuuun. Wait! What about my onigiri?” Kuna calls after him and Shuuhei pretends not to have heard.

He thinks he may have escaped as she suddenly appears in front of him, having employed shunpo to catch up to him. Shuuhei grinds to a stop so as not to crash into her, inwardly cursing himself for letting her startle him like that.

“That’s very rude, Hisagi-kun. Don’t just ignore a vice-captain’s order,” she says with her usual sugary smile that Hisagi finds so annoying.

“I don’t recall having to take orders from someone in an equal position,” Shuuhei retorts, keeping his tone neutral. 

“You should take orders from me, I’m the super-lieutenant!” she says and stems her hands in her sides.

“Please get your own lunch, Kuna-san,” Shuuhei says, resisting the urge to get roped into the discussion about the nonexistence of super-lieutenants and that calling herself so would not make it reality. 

“Gosh, you’re such a buzzkill,” she sighs and rolls her eyes. “You’ll end up an old, grumpy man with a face full of wrinkles from all that frowning. I’ll come with you to the Thirteenth Division, see if I can cheer you up a bit. You could use it – you’re worse than Kensei!”

“That’s really not necessary,” Shuuhei says in an attempt to fend her off, moving away as quickly as he can.

“Nonsense, we can get my onigiri on the way back!” Kuna has no trouble keeping up with his speed, trailing after him with an ease that just serves to irritate Shuuhei even more. 

“Why would you need my company for getting onigiri?”

“I forgot to bring any money, you need to lend me some,” she chirps, acting as if that were a perfectly normal request between them. 

“And why would I do that?” Shuuhei grits his teeth to stop himself from snapping at her. That would only make it worse.

“Because I’m the super-lieutenant!”

“You are not—” Shuuhei bites his tongue at the last second, almost forgetting his vow to never engage in that argument again. Instead, he accelerates, darting to the right to take a different path to the Thirteenth Division. It takes Kuna a couple of seconds to notice his change of direction.

“Hisagi-kun, wait!” she calls, storming after him once more.

He’ll need a drink tonight when he gets off. More than one. It would be the third time this week that he asks Madarame, Ayasegawa, Abarai and Matsumoto-san to join him at the izakaya. Not that any of them would ever turn down an invitation to drink, but it’s still pitiful he’s already in need of a drink at lunchtime. 

“Hisagi-kuuuuun!”

Never mind pitiful, he would need a whole bottle of sake.

**Author's Note:**

> Dear eos_3, I hope you enjoyed! I've never written any of the three characters before, so your prompts were the challenge I was looking for. Hopefully, I didn't disappoint! :)


End file.
